Note to women wanting to be thin.. I’m not trying to start a fight, but as a guy I have to say that it appears to me that when you turn on the TV or look at a magazine, the women in these ads are completely unrealistic. They are wafer-thin little skinny women- I say women only because they have a woman’s head. Otherwise since they have no boobs, butt, or anything else they could for all practical purposes be a man.
So here’s a little secret: Men actually like women in most cases to be on the curvy side. If you’re naturally thin then that’s one thing. That’s ok. But if you’re not and desperately try to look like the women on TV, then realize that there are actually quite a few men who might like you just the way you are. Now there’s a difference between people who are unhealthy and obese versus people who are bit larger. So when I see women walking furiously even though they weigh like 120 pounds I can’t help but wonder why they’re doing it.
Personally, I do not find skinny women at all attractive. Ever see an older skinny woman? They don’t age that well. They turn into sacks of bones. My Wife is not skinny and I think she’s beautiful.
So anyway, I just wanted to say that you don’t have to kill yourself to get skinny. Just follow a “normal” healthy routine – as in a little exercise here and there and some decent food- and you’ll be just fine.
Thanks for the honesty.
True but…. I personally find the really skinny guys like the curvy type while the average man in the Bay Area likes skinny women.
I am personally done with Bay Area men with high unrealistic expectations.
That’s a generalized statement.. I have numerous friends with a vast array of girlfriends whom are in all shapes and sizes. One of my friends is kind of pudgy and has a kind of pudgy GF. I have a “normal” sized friend who is dating a more curvy woman. I also have a short friend dating a tall woman and a tall friend dating a short woman, and so on and so on.
Its easy to make general statements. I’ve lived all over the country and I’ve met my share of bitter people who write off all of the men or women because they personally haven’t met anyone… yet.
So the reality is that people have different tastes for everything. Generalizing only limits your horizons.
Well, if your in SFO, I can believe it. When I lived in frisco (yes, I call it that), the “skinny” women were just that – skinny. No muscles. Muscles DO add shape to a woman and it’s a different shape than a man. A skinny unfit woman has the body of a teenage boy…not sexy. And yes, most skinny women on TV look like that.
But not all…dig Linda Hamilton in the second Terminator – she had been working out for that role and looked REALLY hot. The right weight and fit fit fit.
But it hardly matters…I know this is the DiFo board, but the fact is that men who like trim fit women know where to look – outdoors, on running paths, on century bike rides, climing up mountains. They’re easy to find.
Men who prefer them with more meat on the bones know where to find them. In the gym, in the city, at sit-down jobs.
So, there’s really NEVER a reason for men to be whining about not finding “their kind of woman”. She’ll be right where men who are built similarly are found.
Linda Hamilton. later admitted that she had a raging eating disorder that is the only reason she looked the way she did for Terminator. She pretty much ate nothing and still worked out like crazy. Not exactly a healthy role model. When I watch that movie now, I think she looks like Angelina Jolie — someone who definitely works out but could stand to eat a sandwich.
I want to be “bone” thin. for myself. I will feel better not having to carry extra weight around. It will be easier on my body, and of course it costs much less to maintain a body at 110 pounds than a body at 200 pounds. I really don’t care if men like it or not. I’m sure there will be SOMEONE who will like me even if I’m thin.
Nice point. I personally don’t give a darn. what men think about the way that I look. And also, the idea that a woman’s breasts, butt, etc, are there to be “useful” to a man is offensive at best.
Then if you don’t care….. Then why bother dieting at all? Might as well get out the bucket of ice cream, the donuts, and the cookies. That and make sure to wear sweat pants and t-shirts with bunnies on them. Dieting is more of a vain sort of exercise anyway. If its not men, it women that are trying to impress each other.
The point I was making was that you see all these ads on TV where women just gotta’ lose another 20 pounds even though they already weigh 105 pounds. I’m here to tell you that’s BS and if you’re like most women and want to either have a boyfriend or husband someday and think that you just have to be a sack of bones to please them that you’re wrong for a great deal of us.
And yes- women tend to have breasts and butts. No mention was made in regards to their “usefulness” in the original post. Oh no! Its sooo offensive that women have different anatomical components then men!
This makes no sense at all. I eat healthy and exercise because I want to be active when I’m in my 80s and not stuck in a wheelchair.
I want to lessen my chances of getting cancer, heart disease, diabetes, and so many other diseases that are influenced by lifestyle.
I like racing my husband up several flights of stairs, going on several-hours-long hikes, feeling comfortable in an airline seat, and running marathons.
I don’t do it for my husband. I know he’d stay with me even if I gained 100 pounds. But I wouldn’t be happy. Exercise makes me feel fantastic. I love being strong. I do it for myself.
To imply that the only reason a woman works out/eats healthfully is in hopes of attracting men just boggles my mind…
I’m stunned too §.
We’re not talking on the same level here.. I sort of knew I was asking for trouble when I posted because I knew there would be a lot of people who would get uptight. Let me simplify this down to its basic, bare-bones premise. Perhaps I didn’t clarify it thoroughly.
The bottom line is that in my opinion the media pressures people to look a certain way with the constant blasting of ads where all the people in the ads- both men and women- are actually freaks compared to the avg person in the US. There are very few absolutely fit, thin, perfect people out there. Yet we are supposed to be shamed into doing our damnedest to look like them. That to me is unhealthy.
Guess what? I too go out and exercise much for the same reasons as you do- for my health. I’d say I am in pretty good shape. But guess what? There are plenty of people out there who are predisposed to NOT be thin. My Uncle for example is a farmer and is on his feet 12 hours a day doing hard, physical labor. The man is huge. Most would assume he is out of shape. yet he is actually in great condition. What you see on TV suggests otherwise.
I have no interest in this conversation turning this into a “Stupid men” argument. Its just that in my general opinion there is something equally unhealthy about trying to aspire to be like the people you see on TV whom themselves are not typical of US society.
I basically agree with your original premise. and think you probably phrased your opinion in a way so that a bit of controversy would be waged
(DIFO’s been a little slow lately, so I took the bait) It’s more the tone and conclusion that I took issue with — esp. the just sit down and eat ice cream bit.
I’ve read some stuff about fit at any size, and I tend to agree with that (though I think SOME people use that as an excuse and overinflate their fitness level).
Many times I’ve told a poster who “must lose 25 pounds in 3 weeks for a beach vacation to impress her H” that her H loves her for her and would rather have a happy, confident wife on vacation that a half-starved, crazy lady (which is what I became when I starved myself — what you’d basically have to do to lose that weight).
It’s just provocative to say (and wrong in my case) that the only reason women work out/eat healthy is to attract a man. Perhaps that 120 pound woman you mentioned isn’t speedwalking because she wants to lose weight, but because she wants to be healthy? I exercise pretty much every day and I’m not trying to lose weight. Also, I don’t really care what guys think when they look at me!
Because I care how I feel when I see myself. I am not interested in what men think of my figure. Sorry. I want to be HEALTHY so I can enjoy my life, and I want to look good for myself. (and before you start in, I’m 5’6″ and a size 6–so not thin and not heavy.)
So you assume all men want you to be unhealthy?. Nothing I said mentioned that men wanted women to be unhealthy.
No, you said. if you don’t plan of having a man, you might as well whip out the ice cream because it doesn’t matter. Yuck. Go away. I feel so sorry for your wife
Ok, so let me make sure that…. That everything I say is so generic as to not possibly offend any single person who might not fit under such-and-such category. Is it true that most women and men are with other women and men? I agree they are not but most are. That’s a fact, sorry. But even if not, I’d say that whether you’re straight, gay, or whatever a good majority of people make attempts to either improve or work on their appearance for the sake of other people. NO- not in EVERY circumstance. But statistically I don’t think I’m out of line for saying that.
Lastly- me and my wife really love each other and for you to say otherwise doesn’t reflect very highly on yourself given that you do not know us.
I understood your original point,. and I think your intentions in posting were benign.
No worries.
This got blown out of proportion.. I think people are too easily moved to assume that the OP ( myself) is talking about THEM, and therefor in that light they must correct those assumptions.
I was not talking about anyone in particular but rather making a general statement about society at large. With that this topic was blown way out of proportion. I’m done.
If some of you thought I was talking about you, then you are wrong and if you felt offended then Sorry for your feelings.
I think. most of the regs on this forum don’t share the attitude you speak of, but we get lots of “whine and dash” from posters wanting quick fixes, “speed dieting”, and inquiring about various fat loss aids and diet scams.
But, they don’t usually stick around much.
my mistake, you said “of no practical purpose to. a man.” I was paraphrasing.
Speaking of generalizations Captian Hypocrit….. you just made a HUGE one. You generalize that all women diet for the sake of attracting a mate. I have a mate already, as do several of the PEOPLE on here. Not everyone on here is a woman (generalization #2 BTW).
As BCoops and Supershayna mentioned, I don’t diet for anyone else but me…I’m the only person that lives in this body.
And, yes, women have anatomical differences from men but what if a woman was in good shape and had very small breasts and a not-so-round butt, should she be shunned for it because she “could for all practical purposes be a man”? That is where you reference the “usefullness” of women to possess breasts and a butt….as if not having them somehow makes them “less practical”.
Oh, and I love generalization #3..that all women that don’t care what others think atomatically eat buckets of ice cream, doughnuts and cookies and only wear sweatpants and t-shirts with bunnies on them. Yeah…I’m overweight and I don’t even own sweatpants. I’m also dieting, as in being mindful of what I’m feeding my body, as a way of changing my life, not just my size. I watched my father die from diabetes just 4 months ago so I can tell you sweetheart that the last thing on my mind is how I’m going to be percieved by a random stranger on the fucking street.
While I appreciate your sentiment about men not truly caring about a womans size, I think you are misguided in your delivery. Most of us here are not interested in being “thin” for aesthetic purposes but are interested in being fit for health reasons.
so true!!!! Even when I was single (by choice!). I did not sit st home eating crap food because I RESPECT my body. I don’t want to be overweight because it is unhealthy. I enjoy working out and being active, and carrying excess weight makes that more difficult.
Hell, it’s more fun to do it when youre single.
You are an angry person. §.
Ah, the ol fingerpointing technique. when all else fails and you can’t get people to agree.
Really do not care if you agree.. I made a post with my opinionated statement. I could have posted that the sky is green. Its your right to say yay or nay. People in general enjoy arguing under the guise of anonymity.
Are you wacked?. Your comment makes it seem like the only reason to keep your weight in check is to get a man!! WTF?? What about good health and self actualization?
Jesus Christ… §.
Some women probably DO think that way.. That they have to be a certain size to be attractive to the opposite sex.
However, they have greater problems than their pants size.
The motivations are misguided and are based on feelings of negative self worth rather than positive.
.02.
obviously many women think that way.. Look at the increase in eating disorders.
And the massive diet industry.. “fast” “quick” “500 cals day” “insert favorite diet aid here”…
but we give those posters a talkin’ to.
I want to lose weight to look good…. has nothing to do with my health. I like the way I look when my waist is small and yes I have a butt and boobs. I don’t have a problem saying I diet/exercise for men/women. So what.
Hmmm, wanting to be thin does not have to equate. to no curves. Hell I lost 150lbs, am a small size 8 ( I wouldn’t call that wafer thin, but I’m hardly fat either), and would consider myself endowed in the respective female parts. I think it’s been lost somewhere here that your general body shape (apple, pear, hourglass) is largely based on that of whatever good ole mom and dad gave you. I mean you can’t be a beanpole if your mom was stacked and your dad’s butt looked like two pigs wrestling in a potato sack when he walked….LOL…
Seriously though, I think I’m a good example of the genetics of body shapes. My mom is an apple. My dad is a pear. I’m a bit more of a pear than an apple, but I sure didn’t miss out on the um, ahem, apple part my momma gave me. So maybe my kids will lean towards an hourglass shape, as my bf is an apple shape, but who knows.
As for the aging part of the original post. I hate to disagree, but studies have been done in the Journal of the American Medical Assoc. and by the ADA on calorie restriction (God I would know – this is from the ED days), that suggest (not confirm) people who ate a calorie restricted diet of roughly 1000 calories or less over the extent of their lifetime, could live longer lives. This has been demonstrated in several studies and the belief is that it lowers insulin levels and may slow the rate of cell death, somehow.
I agree its a normal healthy lifestyle. For some people though 120lbs “is” normal.