Chubby hubby…advice?. When I first met my husband, he was overweight. He’s 6’3″ and was 240-250lbs…now I think he’s 300-310 lbs. He won’t get on a scale because he doesn’t want to know how much he weighs, but the last time he was on a scale he was 300 lbs. He says he wants to lose weight, that he doesn’t want to get diabetes or die early, but he does nothing substantial to acheive those goals. He doesn’t exercise. He’ll “eat healthy” for a couple of days and then stop. He has low self-esteem because of his weight. He doesn’t like to dress nicely, go clothes shopping, or go to holiday parties because he becomes self-conscious about his weight espeically when he’s next to me (I’m 5’9 and 130 lbs).
I want to help him in every way possible. I try to persuade him to walk our dogs with me, but he tells me he’s too tired after work or that he’d rather do something else, like working on the car or playing video games or watching tv. I try to buy fruits, veggies, and low-fat foods and stay away from the junk food, but he usually eats fast-food or junk food for lunch when he works. When he’s at home, he eats large portions and clears his plate even after he’s full. He’s an emotional eater. If we fight, he eats. If he’s sad, he eats.
I don’t know what to do to help him. If I talk to him about his weight, he either gets sad or depressed and it only hurts his self-esteem. Is there anyone else in a similar situation? How do I talk to him about his weight in a way that won’t upset him? How I can I try to get him to exercise and eat smaller, healthier portions?
Easy. Slip him sleeping pills, kidnap him to mexico and get him a gastric bypass before he awakes up. Good luck
Gastric Bypass. I know someone that had got up to 520 pounds and got a gastric bypass and in less than two years they were down to 215
That’s a tricky one, Just encourage him §.
do you do the shopping and cooking?. If yes, than he can only eat what you have in the house and cook. Make sure you serve smaller portions of whole grains, lots of veggies and lean meats. You still want everything to taste good otherwise eating healthy can get boring. Look up recipes on cookinglight.com or learn tricks to lighten his favorite dishes.
For example if he likes buffalo wings, buy bread, cut into strips, marinate in buffalo sauce, roll in panko or crushed cereal and bake raised on a cooling rack to crisp up serve with a salad with just a little but of blue cheese dressing and turkey bacon, a baked sweet potato and another veggie he may like.
Portion his place in the kitchen and dont put the serving bowls on the table (except of the veggie sides). Pack up the rest for lunch he can take to work. If its tasty and convenient he wont be as likely to go buy fast food.
In the end only he can make the decision to lose weight, but you can encourage him.
This is good §.
Could not agree more. When I met my husband, both he & I had very serious weight issues. He also had Type II diabetes, high blood pressure, and some other related health issues.
When I took control of my eating, I “helped” him get control of his by ensuring high-quality, organic, nutritionally balanced foods and meals were what he had access to. It forced him to cut back, he started feeling and looking better. Eventually, he asked to be part of my plan, and we have been following it together for about 6 months.
Each Sunday, I plan and pack meals for the week (4 per day, plus dinner.) I make a fresh dinner almost each night, or we have left overs. He has cut fruit and vegetables for snacks available all the time, and has come to like them almost as much as his old friends chips and ice cream
Now we help motivate each other, provide support for the good days & not so good, and are much healthier and happier.
It is NOT easy!. You can not “make” him do anything that he is not ready for. It has to start from within HIM. Gastric Bypass Surgery and the Lap Band Surgery is very risky and I would not EVER recommend surgery, as well as any professional, sensible doctor would either. If you stock the house with healthy food, he will be able to eat fast food and pig out when you are not around. When I was last at my healthiest weight (150-160) my boyfriend would tell me to get off my butt and exercise and to quit eating what I was eating and just give me crap because HE wanted me to lose more weight. I ate my way up to 227 lbs. Low self esteem is an issue that has to be worked on by ones self. YOU do not have control over his self esteem. HE does. Best of Luck to you, but PLEASE do not think of surgery as a way out of obesity, exercise and good nutrition are the ONLY way.
Same problem, in reverse. I’m the chubby wife (5’8″, 255 lbs) who is married to a 6’2″, 190-pound former pro cyclist.
He has NEVER nagged me to diet or to exercise, and has only shown me love and acceptance. I can’t tell you how many times he’s told me, “I love you just the way you are.”
I decided to get fit ON MY OWN last month, when I saw some digital photos of myself and realized what the 100 pounds I’ve packed on in the last 10 years has done to me physically.
I’ve been at the gym 2 hours a day, without fail, and I’m consistently eating 1500-1600 calories a day of healthy food.
He helped me get started by saying, “Whatever you need, I’m there for you” and by being so positive and loving.
I asked him:
- to be flexible with family dinners and early mornings with the kids – I need 3 hour blocks of time to hit the gym, do the work, and shower up and drive home
- to find non-meal-centric activities that we can do as a couple
- to please please not complain about the healthy food I’m cooking now
and so far it’s working great. Hope this helps.
Great approach & commitment! §.
TY, and I have a question above…. … kind of outlining my plan to lose 100 lbs the next year.
If you have time, and feel like giving advice, I’m definitely receptive.
Sure!.
Thanks for the advice all! §.